[(fork and knife)]

the wolf messed with your vision
he's sitting in your kitchen
while you sleep tonight.
he will eat your young
and you will act surprised


-brand new


[here is gone]

AHHH!!!!
the way my brain works, i'll never understand.

here's my situation:

i've been missing camp more than life itself. truly, i'd give anything to go back right now.
and i could....potentially.
i have october 30th (that friday) off as a PD day. i'm considering taking the 29th (that thursday) off to drive out to camp for halloween.

dilemma: there may or may not be three IEPs that i am personally responsible for being held on that day. this is the fourth time they've had to be rescheduled already, and we as a school could be held out of compliance (which is a BIG deal) by the CDE (colorado department of education) if the IEPs are late.

so what do i do?

do i save my sanity by visiting camp and the people i love or do i save money and my school by keeping in compliance with CDE?

potential plus: if those lovely people in chicago can afford to take time off, i can pick them up and take them to camp as well :)

thoughts?

[sweet disposition]

so stay there
'cause i'll be coming over


-temper trap


[hallelujah]


it never comes in trickles but in floods. floods in wall posts, in music, in pictures, in messages, in transit. i don't think i can express in words just how deeply i miss camp and everyone connected with it. this isn't new. i've just been so incredibly affected by my experiences there that to try to verbalize how i feel at this present time would only sound shallow and repetitive.
OH. SO. EMO.
i talked with a friend this weekend about taking off a week and visiting camp.
that's sounding better and better with every minute.

(don't get me wrong. i ADORE colorado and the wonderful people i've met here. my job is going wonderfully, the kids are hilarious (a small child just today told me i looked like a cop in my aviators :) - though sometimes extremely challenging, and i'm loving what i'm doing. it's just that camp pulls at my heartstrings in such a way that unmistakable and irreplaceable, even irresistible.)

so here i sit, hundreds of miles away from the people with whom i feel most home.

i'm torn. to wish for summer would be to wish away the sweet, melting smell of fall, with the burning leaves decorating cement sidewalks, as well as the frosty winter and the newly upturned dirt of spring.
i can't wish all that time away, knowing that there are going to be some incredibly precious moments between now and home.
but home sounds so wonderful right now.


love.love.love.

[raining in baltimore]

the circus is tumbling down on it's knees
the big top is crumbling down


-counting crows


[(fork and knife)]



the mountains and skyline were shrouded in heavy, grey clouds spewing frozen precipitation in mass quantities.
yes, it snowed today.
if i had still been in michigan, i would have been mad - because i know michigan and it's WAY too early for snow there. but since i don't know colorado, i can't be mad. not yet.
and really, who can be mad when they're snuggled under every blanket they own, curled in a papisan chair laughing at glee (most def. my new fav. show) while sipping on hot chocolate with marshmallows?
love.life.


in all honesty, i'm so glad i picked here.

[cornbread]

dancing with the devil round the fire
messing with your mama's bed for a little more magic
make you wanna run around naked
'cause you know it looks good on you


-dave matthews band




we[come together]


there's something so compelling about watching the sky go golden, the smokey-colored mountains silhouetted in stark contrast.
in a word, it's breathtaking.

today's one of those days in which the pieces seem to fall together in a more orderly fashion. not perfect, but definitely a good day.

the goo goo dolls said it best when they said:

you know i'm lost
hiding in your bed
no i don't think it's wrong
it's just gone to my head


-hate this place

[talk show host]

floating upon this surface for the birds
the birds
the birds

-radiohead


[styrofoam remix]


ah!
the events of my life have been mostly surreal.
here's the highlights from september.

...a language! filled week.
*enjoying the Language! trainer
*goofing around with Jenny, Jim, and Kelly for three days
*wandering to McD's with Jenny and Kelly on a Friday that felt like summer.
*being first told that my Friday IEPS were canceled on Thursday night, only to be called at 10:00 on Friday to find that they, in fact, most certainly were not canceled. oops.
*making those IEPS a success, despite the frantic conditions that preceded them.

DOWNTOWN
*weekend with Phil and Steve on the town
*insert many drinking challenges, bribing a car valet, and much mischief. good things.
*Tour de Fat: reveling in bikes, brews, and a circus-like atmosphere all day Saturday

...a marathon week.
*teaching. all. week. long.
*trip to the ER on Monday for massive stomach pains = quality time with the child advocate (super cool) and a trip to pick up my car and dinner with a friend downtown.
*CONFERENCES!!! working from literally 7:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday.
*needing to learn Spanish. desperately.
*playing with Theo instead of lesson planning (aiding and abetting him in his attempts at magic tricks :)
*half-day Friday spent with my door open, working on sub plans, soaking in the warm breeze.

[a weekend i DO NOT remember]
*i believe it was spent recovering from one L.O.N.G. week
*Journey of Hope Benefit concert Sunday with Phil at Red Rocks = an amazing atmosphere

...a week of NEARLY no teaching.
*no school Monday means a LOST day looking for the DMV, starting to pack...
*PD tuesday - goofing around with Jenny while trying to learn about visual strategies
*wednesday in the classroom = kids forgetting who i am!
*CRF PD thursday in Englewood means crashing at a friend's :)
*FRIDAY FLIGHT!!!!

WISCONSIN!
*flying by myself for the first time
*having "that child" behind me. you know, the one that kicks, screams, and cries for the entire duration of the flight. lucky me.
*chatting with a lawyer/real estate proprietor from California, meeting over "Atlas Shrugged"
*beautiful weather for football!
*phone calls early in the morning from a friend in the hospital - slightly scary.
*tailgating....all.day.long. bar hopping....all.night.long.
*reconnecting with those people that made college home for five years. good times.

...a week of ALL teaching.
*instituting the Language! program
*TEAM SUCCESS!!! really making a difference with my behavior kiddos :)
*Monday = one show of a day. not in a good way.
*PD after school Wednesday AND Thursday. i'm not a machine, people!!!
*IEP on Friday...loving that paperwork...ew.

UofM/MSU GAME!!!
*early to bed Friday to rest up :)
*making a shirt at 8 a.m.
*Blake Street Tavern, surrounded by State fans and good people
*making it official...
*tromping around town, talking to bums and watching Penn play
*texting everyone and their mother, possibly spilling alcohol all over my phone (now quite sticky...)
*making a fool of myself and passing OUT early with a black eye and a fat lip
*driving through the mountains to visit the family in Breckenridge for dinner :)


i don't quite understand how everything works, but i'm so glad it does.
love wins.