[angel from montgomery]

if dreams were lightning and thunder was desire
this old house would have burned down long ago


-john prine with bonnie raitt


[live your life]


one thing i love about sundays: they are mine. mine to do as i choose, to spend or waste according to my whim. i have an uncanny ability to shut out the world on sundays (something that awes my friends and incites disbelief). i slept for a fabulous twelve hours, ignoring the rain and lolling about in my sheets, comfortably cocooned. though my sleep was not necessarily comfortable, nor has it been for quite a while.
ever since i have been on break, i have been plagued by nightmares about my coming placement with the third and fourth graders. don't get me wrong, i'm so excited to be with them in the general education setting. the man i'll be working with is a full blown science NERD who takes his kids to outdoor ed every may, and some of my favorite students from the resource room will be my students yet again. i'll have the privilege of teaching all day long, with a set schedule, no one coming or going. the only thing i'll have to work my lessons around are specials, and those happen at the same time every week. wow. this sounds like a cakewalk, right?
one would think.
yet still, while i sleep, doubt invades my dreams. desks are taller than i am, students are running amuck without listening, i am in the wrong classroom without my teaching bag or my phone, and i have no idea what is on the schedule.
that's not all. past failed relationships, bad haircuts, and an inability to photograph the most beautiful things i've ever seen all swim inside my head, feeding on my doubts and fears.
guess the next thing to do is prove all of these doubts wrong, and go take the day and make it mine.

musings:

this year should prove eventful, given all my goals for the next 365 days.

-run a half marathon in may
-learn how to butterfly
-move out west at the end of summer
-live independently
-teach in my own classroom
-establish myself as a photographer
-buy a kayak

here's to making it happen.

peace all.