[you don't know me]

so, what i'm trying to say is
what (what?)
i'm trying to tell you
it's not gonna come out
like i wanna say it
'cause i know you'll only change it
say it

you don't know me
you don't know me
you don't know me
at all.




-ben folds ft. regina spektor


[your favourite weapon]


how can you live with someone for so long and still, after so many years, they have no idea what kind of person you are or what would be best for you?

case in point: my mother. i've made it very clear that my heart is out west, that my greatest ambition at this point is to get a special education teaching job in seattle (or portland, or even san francisco/LA - somewhere urban). obviously, because she's my mother, she would like to keep me around, see me teach in the area for a while. yes. i will apply to some schools in grand rapids or ann arbor, partly to humor her, partly because i do love both of those cities and would deal best with living there if i had to stay in michigan. apparently, those weren't good enough for her.

the woman operates on teeth for a living. i'm sure she got this poor person strapped to a chair, stuffed with painful, torturous instruments, completely incapacitated their ability to talk, and extracted the information by force. however she did it, my mother managed to obtain the address of the superintendent for the troy school district.
troy.
michigan.
suburbiaville.
close to home.
are any of these things even remotely close to what i'm looking for in a job location?
NO.
i will apply, but i will not accept, should i be considered for hire.
to work there would be to put my sanity on the line.
suburbia, hah.
what was she thinking?
oh, mother.

surgeon general's warning: don't try my patience right now, it's currently unplugged.


peace.