[cecilia]

oh cecilia, i'm down on my knees
i'm begging you please to come home


-simon & garfunkel


[hotel song]


welp, i'm back here again. another hotel. with the family.
but this time WE'VE MADE IT!
we're in Denver.
we're moving my things in tomorrow.
it's all real.
it's all happening!
and it feels right.

driving away from camp i was more homesick than i've ever been in my entire life. isn't it strange, how i've never been homesick for the place i grew up as a child, but now at 23 years old, i am homesick for the place that i've experienced the most growth and so much love and support. literally, i was a mess in the car yesterday, texting everyone i could think of at camp. did the same thing today, i won't lie about that.


but for as awful as it felt to leave camp, it feels so good to be here now. i know that Denver is the place for me at this point in my life. do i have to stay here forever? of course not. will i stay as long as i need to? of course. i don't plan on settling anytime soon, and i know that places like Seattle and Chicago are calling me still. but I plan on enjoying the hell out of Denver while i'm here.

it seems strange to be so grown up, having everything in my name. it all belongs to me. and i can afford it. whew. yet with that all comes responsibilities, namely for the children i will be teaching. that's another thing. in the car i was worrying about teaching and how everything will happen, but then i had this dream.

...and we all know dreams are your mind's way of processing your feelings and happenings of your life....

and in my dream i was in the classroom and all the kids were really noisy, but all it took was for me to say that i knew how they were expected to behave, and that quieted them down and they got to work.

...dream message interpreted: yes, i know damn well how to do my job. i've got all the skills and confidence in the world, as well as support from my co-workers and friends. and i will go in there and be successful, no matter what...

yay for sleeping most of the trip.
Kansas, you are BEYOND boring. sayonara, and good riddance.
hello, mountains :) i'm home.


rocky mountain high, indeed.

[born]

put your elbows on the table
i will listen long as i am able
there's nowhere i'd rather be


-over the rhine


[celebrate the whole world]


i'm not entirely sure how i'm at this point in my life.
but somehow i made it.
i'm moving tomorrow.
not staying, of course. just moving.
eighteen hours in the van with my parents.
whoa.

it only makes sense that i was so blindsided by this moving business, i've been at camp. when you're at camp, you're entirely there. your whole world is camp. and whoa baby, has this week been an adventure of epic proportions.

let's just call this first session homesickness/bodily fluids week.

never have i ever cleaned up so much vomit.
never have i ever witnessed so much dehydration.
never have i ever consoled so many homesick campers.
never have i ever dispersed so much itching cream.
never have i ever felt so at home, and so happy.


camp is made for campers, and god knows i love working with them. it felt so good to be needed, even appreciated by the campers. they all seemed to know my name and want to talk to me :) drama performed a skit all about schistosomes in which the punchline revolved around me accidentally ordering sand from an itching powder company. brilliant work, boys and dramatists. helping blackfoot plan their chapel was probably a highlight of the week. man, i miss having a cabin.

the waterfront is, per usual, an s.s., but the problems are slowly resolving themselves. the electricity's back to normal, the mooring posts are marked with dive buoys, and no one's died in the yellow section yet. so now dom and eric are running the show. good luck, my dears. i'll be back for sess. 3. or is it technically session 4....? this awkward half-ish session was not one of the greatest ideas ever. i'm curious to see how the campers and staff are handling fifty kids, thirty of whom are stayovers, for four days. i hope there's documentation :)




of course, i've neglected this blog terribly! i haven't even written about staff orientation (which, naturally, was an s.s. as well, since we were dismally disorganized!). i'm madly in love with the staff, they appear to be one of the best i've worked with ... we'll see how the summer shapes up. it's so great to work with all the returners, whom i love dearly, and the new folks are fantastic. so here's to a summer like none other, one more on the shores of Big Blue. truly, it is home, and i cannot wait to get back and be all up in it.

[live high]

and oh, let's take it easy
and celebrate the malleable reality
because nothing is ever as it seems
this life is but a dream


-jason mraz


[rocky mountain high]


life lesson #5,672: schistosomes a mile high still itch. a lot.

so, i'm finally here. denver. it seems so surreal, watching television with the fam in the hotel room. of course, it's so appropriate that john denver is on, playing what song? oh, rocky mountain high. love it. quote of the night: "not everyone knows west virginia, but everyone knows what it feels like to go home." and russell road, how you do that so, so well.

things that have become clear to me over the long travel hours:

my mother does NOT travel well.
my father has the patience of a literal saint.
my body HATES me and has the worst timing in the entire world.
schistosomes are most prevalent at the end of may and early june (what genius got in the water in early june....me.)

my mother and i do not see eye to eye, especially in regards to moving dates. i am adamant about moving over the week of July 4th, which will eliminate the need for me to take off any more time from camp than absolutely necessary. she believes that i should sign the lease for august, which would require me to miss the second to last week of camp (on top of the last week i'll already be missing) in order to save money. while i see her point, there is no price you can put on camp. it is home, and i will do whatever i have to in order to spend as much time there as possible during my last summer.

i have not spent this much time with my parents in a VERY long time. my patience is definitely hanging on by a thread. it's only sunday.

i'm going to have to deal with a whole lot of adult issues, like making rent payments, utility bills, setting up internet and cable, insurance, medical costs, phone bills....um, basically i'm going to have to get my act together if i want to be successful in a big city with a small salary. but it's my salary, all the same, and i'm incredibly proud of the work i'm doing. i wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

moving is exciting/overwhelming/terrifying/thrilling....indescribable. there are still so many questions: what grade will i be teaching, how am i going to set up my classroom, where will i get my allergy shots, where is the closest YMCA and farmer's market, how am i going to learn spanish in two months, how am i going to make friends, will i be able to find people to come outside and play with me, when can i go camp in the mountains, what will happen when i leave everyone behind? the unknowns are stressful. i am going to have to rely on that deep-rooted confidence in my own ability to adapt and overcome. not that it's going to be a chore to move, i'm beyond excited about it, but it is going to present challenges that will push my limits.

i say bring it on.

and while i'm here in denver, focused on finding somewhere to live, i'm totally neglecting my waterfront director duties. there are SO many things that need to be taken care of in regards to the waterfront, like putting in swim lines, sweeping the area for debris, marking the swim sections, blowing up tubes and the volleyball net, making posts for the rule signs, getting together information for the waterfront session of staff orientation (my role in staff orientation is something i've COMPLETELY neglected and i will go crazy as soon as i get back to camp trying to put everything together).


whew. breathe.


i don't quite understand how this is all going to work out, but somehow we'll fit it all in. everything will get done exactly as it needs to.


peace.