[white houses]

jenny screams out and it's no pose
'cause when she dances she goes and goes

-vanessa carlton


random assortment of things:

i went running today instead of swimming.
(big mistake).
life lesson #1,052: listen to your body. it knows.

i don't like to be disappointed.
(come on guys, pull through for me).

i'm strangely stressed about the next two weeks.
(minus the weekends).

playlists are the greatest gift in the world.
(i feel like i have an old friend back again).


daily musing:

this one's inspired by Jory today. your thoughts move me in ways i have not been for so long. thank you.

if you had to pick between a desert, a river, or a mountain to describe yourself, which one would you be?

my answer is always a river, for myriad reasons. i have always had a connection with water, it's where i grew up. my backyard was a lake, my playground the waves. it's where i feel most comfortable, most at home. Hopi is my favorite cabin because i can open the door in the morning and watch the mist roll over Big Blue Lake. i didn't have to be at polar bear swim every morning this past summer, but i was there because i wanted to be. the golden light that strikes the calm waters is indescribable, and quite possibly the greatest place to slowly come into conscious awareness of the world. blue, the color of water, is my favorite color. always has been, always will be. i know instinctively that wherever i will live, it will be on water. there's a desire in me, something indefinable yet integral to my being, a desire to move west. to be on the ocean. i would stop in chicago on lake michigan for a while, maybe play in lake tahoe to rest, but i know that i will be on the coast one day, very soon.

and all of this leads me to why i am a river.

i am always moving, flowing, with a direction in mind. slow at times, dabbling in the rocks and swirling in eddies, winding and curving or straight and quick, rushing past the landscapes. [just around the river bend is going through my head. pocahontas, anyone?] yet no matter how i move, i am always moving with a purpose. i am an extremely goal-oriented person. rivers see so many different places, traveling great lengths, crossing boundaries. water also has healing properties, nourishing the body, providing a cool relief - something i hope my presence accomplishes. i am a little brook, moving slowly but picking up speed, moving towards my ultimate destination: the ocean. there i will empty myself out into something so much bigger than myself, something calm and reflective yet bustling with life underneath the surface. there is so much to see, yet all encompassed in a great, blue peace.



this is all very poorly and inelegantly articulated, but i can't focus right now. my mind is a whirlwind of activity, trying to prepare myself for the chaos this week will bring. and i will move through it the only way i know how: by dancing.

i dance at the copy machine.
i dance waiting in line.
i dance in my room.

dancing at the gas pump tonight i had a thought. if my life were a dance, what would it look like? the way i think, the way i typically operate, is through music. my life can be described as a symphony, through a playlist, through music. what do other people think in terms of?

it's 11:11. make a wish.


peace (for all, to all).