[movin' on]

i wouldn't say that i miss you
but somethin' keeps me with you
there's something about movin'
teaches you how to move on


-daisy may


[sleepless]



slightly calmer now.
still thinking in lists of things to do.
still wanting to cram in as much special time with people as possible.
but i know that life is going the way it needs to.
thank goodness for friends who answer their phones.

[okay, i believe you, but my tommy gun don't]

i am heaven sent
don't you dare forget
i am all you've ever wanted


-brand new


[coordinate brain and mouth]


random mash of feelings here:


i have approximately 17 days left here.
whoa baby.

i'm scheduling second interviews with schools in california.
i'm due for another job fair in 11 days.


oe is coming faster than i realized....and the waterfront at pendy is close on it's heels.


there are a million things to be excited about, but all i can think about are the things that i will be leaving.
i guess that's just more incentive to live it up while i'm here.


so tell me why, if i'm supposed to be focused on the here and now, am i nostalgic for all things and people chicago?



i'm just an emotional mess of contradictions. so what else is new.


i guess you could call it absolutely normal chaos.


and really, it keeps life interesting.

[true affection]

your depths made a pressure that punctured my works
and all your fluids couldn't tolerate the force of my thirst
i love the place where we shared our tiny grace
but just because it's real don't mean it's gonna work


-the blow


[ray-ban glasses]


after an insane week of running around, finishing my portfolio, printing copies of my resume, making a packing list, making a dozen playlists, actually packing my bags, writing final lesson plans, making a sign for my students, putting up bulletin boards, re-packing my bags (compulsive), charging my everything, sitting through eight hours of conferences, talking on the phone to dear friends, emailing my paranoid mother, visiting the atm a dozen times, teaching literacy under the sea, and reflecting on my unit, the time has finally come.
i've packed so much into the past (almost three) days, it's hard to believe this is real.


california, here i come.


keep your fingers crossed.
hopefully when i pack my bags to come home, i'm packing some job offers as well.



love all.

[her morning elegance]

soon she's down the stairs
her morning elegance she wears
the sound of water makes her dream
awoken by a cloud of steam
she pours a daydream in a cup
a spoon of sugars sweetens up


-oren lavie


[les artistes]


lovely, slow morning.
woke up on a couch, drowsied with a friend for an hour.
walked out alone into the mist, headed for home to the sounds of santogold, oren lavie, and the pat mcgee band playing on my trusty ipod.
detoured at a bagel shop down the street, ran into the church crowd that spilled out the door.
received a phone call from a far-away friend while i was waiting for my breakfast, he walked me home amidst traffic wooshes and beeps.
sipped on a smoothie, conversed about future plans, friends moving across the country, the ridiculous trend of marrying early, picking our bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the seductive powers of rock band.
he's coming in a week and a half. i can't wait to see him.
that conversation was the perfect way to ease into this day.


love.

[jesus christ]

jesus christ that's a pretty face
the kind you'd find on someone i could save


-brand new


[high and dry]



it's funny how i've always said i'm not ready for a real, long term relationship, i'm too busy, blah blah blah, but now at the end of all things i finally feel like i'm ready for one.

maybe i'm just reaching out for security during a time that is about to become very unstable.

go figure.

[machinehead]

i spin on a whim
slide to the right
i felt you like electric light


-bush


[grey sky eyes]



to describe the past five days:

mostly surreal.


it's hard to believe this is all coming to an end.

[jesus, etc]

jesus don't cry
you can rely on me honey
you can come by
any time you want


-wilco


[in your head]



this beautiful spring day finds me at a loss for words.
my heart is full, while my head is still stuck in last night.
so many things came together, the tying of loose ends.
i can't possibly articulate it.

do you ever have that sensation, when you're wrapped up in someone's arms, that you know you are exactly where you are meant to be?

that was a long time coming.